Your Whole Relationship:
Sex, Desire, Intimacy, and Connection

A special workshop for couples who have participated in the Hold Me Tight® Workshop or EFT Therapy

July 14-16, 2017
Pepper Tree Retreat
Ojai, CA

Starts Friday at 2 PM and ends Sunday by 2 PM*

*Exact times to be confirmed

Join us in an enriching weekend experience, facilitated by relationship experts and clinical psychologists Silvina Irwin, Ph.D. and Lisa Blum, Psy.D., at this unique couples workshop.

In Hold Me Tight® or EFT Therapy, you learned and practiced nurturing a deeper and more secure emotional connection. In this next-step workshop, you will learn how to enhance your sexual connection, cultivating intimacy, safety, healing, playfulness, and fun!

We welcome same-sex and opposite-sex couples who have experienced EFT therapy or the Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop and who want to take the next step in cultivating greater closeness, intimacy and desire in your relationship.

More information and logistical details about this workshop can be found below the registration button.

Registration Fees for this workshop (does not include lodging): 

  • Early Bird Registration: $825.00 (until Wednesday, June 14, 2017)
  • Standard Registration: $875.00 (after Wednesday, June 14, 2017)

A limited number of student discounts will be offered. Please inquire for availability and rates.


Workshop Description

This workshop will help you and your partner explore, open deeper dialogue, and find greater understanding about your sexual relationship, to create a pathway for enhancing intimacy and connection through physical touch and sexuality.

This weekend will provide a safe space to explore emotional and physical blocks in your sexual relationship, learn about your own and your partner’s sexuality and desires, help you to make it safe enough to talk about these difficult things, and discover together how you both want to construct a fulfilling, meaningful, rewarding, pleasurable sexual relationship -- in whatever form that takes for you.

In our many years providing couples therapy to help heal relationships, we have witnessed how hard it is to talk honestly and openly about challenges in your sexual relationship. Conversations about sex are often filled with anxiety, shame, embarrassment, and fear of hurting your partner. Or sometimes it’s a matter of just not knowing how to talk about it at all. We designed this workshop to help couples find greater ease in having these conversations -- even to find ways to be playful and loving in these conversations -- because it’s hard to repair and enhance something that you cannot talk about.   

We will explore multiple ways of connecting and communicating in your sensual and sexual connection. The workshop will include exercises in a variety of forms  -- talking, breathing, safe touch, non-verbal attunement, writing, imagery -- that will allow you to privately and safely open up communication, connection, and playfulness between you. (Please be assured that all exercises will respect privacy and take into account the group setting.)

This workshop is not sex therapy – that is, we will not diagnose or focus on treatment for specific sexual difficulties, such as erectile dysfunction, vaginal pain, premature ejaculation, or porn addiction. We will not put any kind of label at all on the struggles you may be experiencing.  Whatever kinds of struggles you and your partner are experiencing, we welcome you to the workshop. The workshop will offer you a pathway to talk about what is and is not working in your sexual relationship for each of you, and to make a plan together for how you both want to address these difficulties, and heal them.

Your facilitators for this workshop, Drs. Lisa Blum and Silvina Irwin, are experienced couples therapists with advanced training and certifications in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), and are not certified sex therapists. Their expertise is in helping couples integrate sexuality and physical intimacy, desire and connection into a healthy, safe, attuned, loving, whole relationship.  


Workshop Logistics, Lodging Information, and Cost

This workshop will be held on the beautiful grounds of the PepperTree Retreat and Educational Center in Ojai, CA, about 90 minutes northwest of Los Angeles. The PepperTree is a lush, private reserve located on 11 acres of orange orchards, gardens, and open space nestled in the foothills of Ojai’s east end. There are several outdoor patios and terraces, with a large veranda overlooking the front lawn and rose garden. Nearby are trails into the surrounding mountains and country roads ideal for early morning or late-afternoon walks. The retreat center is the former home of educator and philosopher J. Krishnamurti. You can learn more about the amenities and history of PepperTree here

The workshop will begin on Friday with an introductory session. Saturday is a full day with a mid-day break, and then on Sunday we will have a final half day workshop, ending at approximately 1:30. [Please note all times still to be finalized].

We will cap registration in order to maintain the intimacy and ease of a small group experience. Please book early to be assured a space at the workshop.

Workshop Cancellation Policy

If you need to cancel your workshop registration 31 or more days days prior to the start of the workshop, you will receive a full refund of your registration fee less a $25 administrative fee. If you need to cancel 30 days or less prior to the start of the workshop, we will be glad to refund your registration fee less the $25 administrative fee if we or you are able to book your place in the workshop with another registrant. If we are unable to find an alternate couple to take your place, we will refund 50% of your registration fee. HOWEVER, you will have a credit with us for the other 50% of the registration amount to be used at a future workshop offered by the EFT Resource Center. This policy is necessary because of the commitments we make to the retreat center where we are holding the workshop. 


Lodging is separate from your registration fee and needs to be booked separately. The Pepper Tree Retreat Center has 10 unique rooms in a vintage 1910 farmhouse and separate cottages on the same grounds where our workshop will take place, which will be available on a first-come basis. See a description and pictures of the lodging options here. There is an advantage to staying all weekend on the grounds of the retreat center, as you may find it more relaxing not to have to drive back and forth into town (about 10 minutes away), and you will have access to private space for your couples exercises during the workshop. The PepperTree Retreat Center is also set on a lovely 11 acres of orchards, gardens, and beautiful vistas of the Ojai valley, making it a very peaceful and meditative place to spend the weekend. To book your room at the PepperTree Retreat, please call 877-355-5986 and state that you are with the EFT Resource Center Couples Workshop. All charges for lodging are your responsibility.

Other lodging options in the town of Ojai include high, low, and medium-priced hotels, a list of which can be found here: In addition, there are Airbnb and VRBO (vacation rental by owner) options. You may wish to use web-based search and rating sites (e.g., Travelocity, Travel Advisor, Yelp, etc.) to determine which lodging will be right for you. Please note the cancellation policy of the particular lodging you book, as their policy may be different than our workshop cancellation policy.

We recommend that whichever lodging option you choose, book now, as lodging in Ojai tends to fill up quickly on the weekends.

If you have questions or would like any guidance in making a decision about where to stay, feel free to email Jen Lum at the EFT Resource Center at


We are pleased to include a light but plentiful breakfast both Saturday and Sunday mornings, and a catered vegetarian lunch on Saturday mid-day. Please feel free to bring any food items with you that suit your dietary needs so that you can be most comfortable. (Note that the PepperTree Retreat Center is vegetarian only). You may make dinner plans of your choosing. Ojai has some lovely restaurants. Advance reservations are strongly recommended. 

If you have additional questions or any special needs, please email our associate Jen Lum at so that we can help to make your retreat experience with us most comfortable.

We look forward to having your join us at the workshop for a very enriching, relationship-affirming weekend.